Hi, friends. It’s been awhile since I’ve written and to be honest, I wasn’t sure what this post would be, but I knew I had to write it. My mom recently passed away after a long journey with lung cancer. Over the last eight years it was treated and recurred quite a few times, but just in the last couple of months it became untreatable and we had to say goodbye to her.
A couple weeks later and I still struggle to put into words what this experience is like, but I take comfort in the fact that those of you who have dealt with something similar will know what I mean without me having to explain.
One thing that happens with the loss of a loved one is that everyone asks, “How are you doing?” This is the most difficult question to answer. I so appreciate that friends take the time to let me know that they are thinking of me and truly want to look out for my well-being, but I’ll admit that trying to come up with an answer to this question is a struggle every time because there are so many things to feel.
I feel grateful for the time that my mom had, blessed for her presence in my life, confident that I have the strength and support and faith to be okay, stressed when there is so much to do and when there are so many people around, unimaginably sad that she’s gone, and a sense that the everyday things will just never be the same.
Another thing that I’ve experienced is that the days drag on. I mean, these are the longest days I have ever experienced in my life, and I’m not sure when that’s going to change. I know that life will go on and I trust that slowly but surely things will become more and more normal over time.
My mom was an amazing lady. She was a teacher, administrator, singer, musician, song-writer, and entertainer. She was funny, sarcastic, competitive, and the most gracious person I’ve ever met, who never complained about anything. She loved The Great Escape, spelling, sci-fi, James Taylor, The Red Sox, orange cats, and the color green. She was the most supportive mother I could have asked for – she was the first person to subscribe to this blog and read every single post, and made sure to let me know that she loved it. And she always always understood.
In so many ways I cannot imagine life without my mom. I also know, though, that she had a faith so strong and knew that this life was not the end for her. I’m the most grateful to God for that fact.
Thank you in advance for your support, and to any friends or family reading this, thank you especially. This is not a post that was easy to write, and I’m still not sure if it’s right or sounds exactly the way it should, but it definitely means the most to me. So thank you for reading. And thank you, mom.
Until next time. xx